My Apologies
by Ragingstillness
Summary: A free verse poem written from Hades to Zelena. The poem follows her life and his reaction to every piece as it's revealed. Please let me know how I did.


I'm sorry I wasn't there

The day you were born

When even the child you were,

The tiny babe!

Understood how much pain it was in

Watching your mother leave you

You fell into yourself,

Safety found by

Letting the pain out in your new mother's arms

I would have wiped away your tears

I'm sorry my arms didn't cradle you

Fists banging on a bolted door

As your second chance died of illness

Lying in the nearby bedroom

You cried

And he found it infuriating

How insensitive of you to not know how he was suffering?

When you were suffering right along with him

I would have understood

I'm sorry I couldn't argue

When your father first hit you with his words

When you felt the first sting

In your bright garnet heart

Of pain you had never known

When you began to question yourself

Your innocence

And who you were

I would have told you exactly the kind of girl you were

I'm sorry I didn't throw myself in front of you

When he first hit you for real

When the hand smacked across your cheek

And the stick cracked across your unblemished back

Making the first of scars that I long to one day trace with my lips

And turn from pain to healing

I would have been your shield

I'm sorry you had to do all that you did

The blisters on your palms

Your cracked knuckles

Bruised knees

And shattered pride

You broke your back for a stinking tavern

And wandering hands of the much too old, too drunk

Carrying that _thing_ home for the day's worth of scars

I would have lent you a hand

I'm sorry I was not the one with the answers

When you lost what made you you

To a careless word

The sheer invalidation

Of your work, your name, your birth

And the bastard who thought to exploit it

By sending you to a man who only treated you worse

I would have taught you with the utmost care

I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to burn that man

When he had the nerve to guess your heart

To judge you for his own ambition

When he knew your background;

It mirrored his much too well

I'm glad you ran

That was the bravest move

And only you could have done it

I would have burst with pride

I'm sorry you were betrayed again

When they who called themselves your family

Turned on you with all the patience of two year olds

Looking for any excuse to expel

The strongest of their group

I am not talking about magic

Yet you still didn't hate

You saved that girl's life

You wonderful wonderful woman

I would have ruled at your side

I'm sorry I messed up

When I finally _was_ there

I came on too fast

We weren't ready

I should have known love better

And it was unfair to throw that on you

So thank you for rejecting me

I just hope that the brief care that covered your heart

Stayed with you on the coldest nights

I would have offered you my coat

I'm sorry you lost control

And I wasn't there to hold the broken pieces together

As you fell to murder

And adultery

And slavery

Trying to grasp something you'd never have

Even if you went back and did it all over again

And you tried

But as terrible as it was

You got a little squirming fraction of your heart out of it

Just enough border pieces

To begin filling in the center of the puzzle

And for that I am grateful

But I'm not sorry you're here now

I'm not sorry that I can talk to you

I'm not sorry for your brilliant smiles

I'm not sorry for the way your heart speeds up around me

I'm not sorry for how I can't keep my hands off of yours

I'm not sorry for how I imagine you dancing in my arms

I'm not sorry for red wine in glasses

Or withered flowers

Or my romantic taste in music

I'm not sorry for grasping onto you

And never letting go

I'm not sorry for kissing you

Not at all

And, above all else,

I'm not sorry for those first little jumps

Of my heart beneath your hand

The little breaths in your voice

And how great you look,

When you're in love

 **Author's note: Just a cute Zades poem I wrote from Hades' perspective to Zelena. The format was partially inspired by a poem I wrote for my mother on Mother's Day. I tend to write poetry in free verse and I am only an aspiring poet so please let me know how I did. R &R, thank you.**


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